I Have An S Rank

One of the great disappointments of my life is the relative obscurity of Mega Man Legends 2. You see, in this game, you can aquire various badges, or ranks, that grant access to dungeons in the game. These dungeons generally contain special items or weapons as a reward.

The highest rank is the lofty S Rank. My brother Steve and I had rented MML2 because we had nothing better to do and our standards are apparently lower than the rest of the planet’s. Being the anal gamers we are, we demanded nothing less than full completion of the game. So, we attempted the test for the S Rank.

This test is mother-fucking hard. This test requires you to beat several rooms full of enemies within a certain amount of time, an amount of time so limited that the game developers must have chosen it by having whatever diety was hanging around Capcom’s campus that day run through it and taking its best time. You have to perform flawlessly, discover ways to make every hit count twice, and carefully gauge every jump so as not to waste time in the air.

My memory of the night is hazy, but I think we spent about four hours running through these three or four rooms over and over again, discovering ways to be slightly more optimal each time. Our cousin Tony was watching us idly for a little while before falling asleep in his chair.

Well, I finally beat it and in an anticlimactic ceremony, was given the vaunted S Rank. After shouting in celebration and basking in the glow of fresh victory, we set out to find newly-opened dungeons to conquer and spoil.

We found only one or two. The only item I remember getting was a weapon that was strictly worse than weapons we already had. We were devastated and questioned aloud the quality of Mega Man’s ancestry.

In an attempt to make that experience meaningful, I have since searched for others who have played MML2, others that might appreciate my accomplishment. The game itself sure as hell didn’t. Due to its dismal sales, however, I have met with little success. If only Capcom had made the game a little better, marketed it a little harder, my life would have been slightly less wasted.

2 thoughts on “I Have An S Rank”

  1. yeah, i totally remember S-rank night. What started out as a bad idea quickly turned into…sleep, for me 😉 hehe. I say this knowing that I’ll never be among the 1337 S-rank holders…*sniff*

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