The phrase “I call them like I see them” is an argument stopper. What can you do? In that dude’s reality, things are just a certain way, and he is faithfully reporting them.

Goober 1: “Your mom is like a struct. She’s got no class!”
Goober 2: “What the fuck?”
Goober 1: “Hey, man. I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.”
Goober 2: “Oh. OK. Well, keep on keepin’ on, then.”

Try that baby out the next time you are losing an argument. Guaranteed or your money back.