Do the Beatrix Kiddo

From Snow Crash:

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.

Every time I’m in one of those fantasy or Asian novelty stores, I want very much to buy a sword. Just give me seven years of training under some Japanese master. I could fuck shit up.

But it’s a lonely journey, and I’d need some sort of goal to keep the fire burning. So, friends of mine, let’s one of you agree to meet me in seven years on an isolated isle somewhere, bringing only your metal and courage to a fight to the death. It’ll be awesome, trust me.

5 thoughts on “Do the Beatrix Kiddo”

  1. Are you looking for an actual excuse for training, or is just agreeing to do it enough? Like, would I have to insult your mother’s honor to throw you on to a seven year path of resolve and revenge?

  2. Mmm, I had anticipated just agreeing. But you know what? Don’t even bother. I’m just going to assume that all my friends are really into this.

    See you all in seven years! Which is when I start to hunt you down with a ruthlessness only rivaled by my yen for revenge!

    Revenge for something or other… I’m sure if I brood over some imagined hurt for seven years, I’ll get pretty pissed by the end.

  3. Mike, I accidentally broke your favorite mirror 🙁
    Now I must face seven years of bad luck followed by a day of reprieve and then my untimely demise.

  4. Motherfucker steals all my ideas.

    No seriously, this Badass Games thing seems a little derivative, not of me, but of his own recent Great Outdoor Fight.

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